Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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