using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize