So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
