note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
