is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
