so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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