Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
