I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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