id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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