allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
