why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
tell me about the fingering
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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