Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize