it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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