Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
