Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just found puke in my bra..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
