have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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