Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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