So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
