Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The air was thick with penises
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize