Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
