So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we're making bets on your personal life
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
