ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Let's get the cat blown out
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
