FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
