We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
