By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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