piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Damn victory sex feels great
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize