Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
