I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
my poor anus
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
