rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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