it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
