My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
