whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize