wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
