What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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