Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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