Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
