remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
