I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
