a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
