my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize