Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
