Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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