I wish they made helmets for livers.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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