Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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(627): View more from California

The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home

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(239): View more from Florida

I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost

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(509): View more from Washington

I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.

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