The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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