oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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