my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
