you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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