i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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