I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
