Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
