I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
