she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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