Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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