ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You're like the curious george of whores
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
