Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
