Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
