i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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