I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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