It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
