Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
