I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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