why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
